Is this normal? It is about rape, force and infidelity.?

you're a masochist. it's not necessarily normal sexual behavior but it does have a sub-culture of consenting adults who fulfill their needs with each other. It seems you're aroused by humiliation and domination, but in a fantasy. Real violence and rape repulses you because it's not a fantasy, it's real and someone is actually getting hurt. maybe you should look for a professional dominatrix?